Some basic Information for Various Recovery Groups:

A Message for those in AA or other Programs

A Message to those in AA or other Programs

🌿"Is Something Missing in Your Recovery?🌿

Recovering alcoholics owe their lives to the 12 Steps. But over time, many of us battle a vague sense that something is missing in our sobriety. Even as we go to meetings, defects and twisted emotions stubbornly remain. If you grew up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family, there is hope. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families is an anonymous 12-Step fellowship that helps you find Emotional Sobriety - the deep healing of mind, body and spirit first envisioned by Bill W. In ACA, children of dysfunctional families experience unconditional self-love, with the help of our Higher Power. We slowly release the distorted thinking and discontent that are legacies of our upbringing.

🌱Your Past Still Matters🌱

Recovering alcoholics focus on living in the present: One Day at a Time. But if your childhood was twisted by the chaos, neglect and abuse that are common in alcoholic households, ignoring the past can be a deadly mistake. Without help, adults with this history get caught in a tragic generational cycle. They experience chronic shame and self-doubt learned in childhood. Many, but not all, become alcoholics or addicts. They struggle with personal relationships, at home and in the workplace. In their pain, they often mistreat those closest to them. These repetitive life patterns are described in Traits of Adult Children. If you identify with these traits, you may be affected by family dysfunction, alcoholism, or a comparable childhood trauma.

🌻ACA Can Help🌻

ACA is not a substitute for alcohol sobriety, but it strengthens our recovery. Bill W., who himself suffered deep childhood trauma, predicted in 1956 that a new fellowship would someday use the 12 Steps and a caring community to heal long-buried "psychic damages." In ACA, much as Bill W. envisioned, we face our past together and stop reenacting what was done to us. Using ACA’s tools and adapted steps, we accept powerlessness over our hurtful past and use a blameless inventory to heal our behavior today. Drawing on our Higher Power, we treat ourselves with love and kindness, and form nurturing relationships with people who value us for who we are.

With Emotional Sobriety, we release our childhood Traits and experience ACA’s 12 Promises. At long last, we know "happy, joyous and free." 🌞 🎈 🦋

ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families

"At times adult children have been criticized for blaming their parents. The principles of ACA are not about blame. They are about owning your truth, grieving your losses, and being accountable today for how you live your life."

Getting Started with ACA

Helpful Official ACA Links

Al-Anon Family Groups

Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.

We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery. Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions. Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.

We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and
encouragement to the alcoholic.

Helpful Official Al-Anon Books

Detachment

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person’s alcohol-ism can be a means of detaching: this does not necessarily require physical separation. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively. Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else's drinking
is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In Al-Anon we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else's drinking.
We are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. We can still love the person without liking the behavior.

In Al-Anon We Learn:

Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people
Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another's recovery
Not to do for others what they can do for themselves
Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink, or behave as we see fit
Not to cover up for another's mistakes or misdeeds
Not to create a crisis
Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events

The Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. (World Service Office) grants permission for the following materials to be posted on service arm websites. Postings need to acknowledge a credit line as follows: "Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA."